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I haven’t always been this way. I think having kids partly changed that in me. When you have as many kids as I have, they tend to run right over you. You need routines and structure. It’s good to have a plan if they get sick, or have sports and so on… But what happens when trauma and unexpected things in life hit that you don’t have a plan for?
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This is where I’ve wrestled with God the most. When you’re a person who’s been through a lot of trauma in life, sometimes it’s hard to trust that God is sovereign and faithful. That He has a plan. Sometimes we allow our own trauma because we are so adamant in sticking to our plan because we think we know better. Or we are so afraid that His plan won’t be our plan so instead we walk right into the battle with our very own feet.
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And what if His plan is not our plan? Because it probably isn’t! Why is it so hard to have faith that His plans are better? When it comes to faith, I always picture those paintings. I’m not an artist by any means and I’m pretty sure I failed art soo lol. But you know those paintings that are made of dots? If you stand close it just looks like a bunch of dots of paint. But when you stand back, you see it as a whole and the picture is often beautiful and perfect. Tiny details that fit so perfectly. Animals and people, or beautiful landscapes. The artist had a plan. One that, if we only looked at up close, we would never understand.
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The thing is, we don’t need to know Gods plan, just that He has one! We have to know and understand God’s character in order to surrender our hearts to His will. He is sovereign. He is faithful. He is merciful. He is able. He is good. We have to fill our hearts with His word to be able to hear Him. To learn Him. To trust Him. He will never allow what he has not already planned for!
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We have to strengthen the faith muscle and surrender our hearts, our fears of the unknown, the fear and feeling of not being in control or having our plan work out. I can promise you, friend, I think David liked God’s plan far better then being a shepherd his whole life. I’m sure Joseph was struggling with his faith at points when he sat in jail, but look what God did in his life. I’m sure it was far better than what had laid out for his own life.
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Let the artist do what the artist does best. Close your eyes, trust, and offer up that sweet surrender while He paints your story.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord,
“plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Jeremiah 29:11