Independently Owned & Operated 💁🏼‍♀️

Let’s Talk Dating

This subject has been asked about so many times. I find it quite silly that people are so curious. But, as I’ve said, I will share my story and appease the curiosity of my readers. I myself love a good spilt tea too 😉

The short answer: no, I have not dated since my break up.

The long answer: to be honest, ughhhh LOL.

First, let’s lay out my current situation. Break up just shy of 5 months ago. I am a single mom homeschooling four kids, building a social media empire, (which if you are not an influencer or trying to grow your social media you have to understand, this is actually a TON of work). I’m also blogging and working other side hustles. When I’m not doing those things, I’m watching training videos for said side hustles, running engagement groups, doctor, taxi, running to baseball, cooking dinner and cleaning. You know, being a mom to 4 kids thats still depend on me.

Wooo that is exhausting!

So first and foremost… Where on earth would I fit time in to date? Most of my days don’t end until 9 or 10pm at which time I’m usually folding laundry to try and stay on top of it and then I literally crash after. Only to wake up at 6 and do it all again.

Dating after 10pm….? From where I grew up that is a strait up… well you know.. And I’m not about that!

I will tell you that I have talked to several men over the past few months. Of course if you’re a woman, a single woman, you know how it goes, they seek you out. Literally out of thin air! Lol. It’s quite comical actually. Like they have single woman radar or something; I don’t know haha! I have actually met some really nice ones, and have developed some really great friendships. Reconnected with and have gotten to catch up with old friends from high school even. All in all it’s been really fun having great conversations, a little flirtations and tons of laughs. It’s also been very flattering being “chased” again. It’s really quite refreshing!

And then there have been not so nice ones.. Ones that have bright red flags, and ones that remind you of why you are perfectly content to stay single.

Dating sites? LOL Been there done that! Not going back! I knew that was another question 😜. Nope! Not doing it! I was last on the dating sites several years ago before my last ex and that was quite enough for me. From what I’ve heard from friends, it hasn’t changed much and if anything has only gotten worse, so I’m good! LOL. I do, however, have some epic online dating stories that are hysterical. I’ll have to share them another time. I thought that I was better off not going on those sites anymore, but I’m pretty sure most men are using facebook and instagram and everything else as a dating site too nowadays. Hahaha yeah, so I don’t know about that one. And seeing as how I don’t really go anywhere… yeah I don’t know. We’ll have to circle back to that. Lol.

I’m not against dating, and actually may soon be really needing a good night out on the town. But right now, my priorities are just different. I’ve always been one that loves companionship. I feel like that’s something God has placed in my heart and something that helps me thrive in many ways. I love the thought of a partner, working together, encouraging one another, growing together, being in love.. We all know I’m that classic, head in the clouds, hopeless romantic. So someday I very much hope to have that again. And I do miss that from time to time.

Lately I’m just not into the whole dating scene. My last relationship left a bitter taste and I’m not sure I’m ready to put myself fully out there again. I don’t hold any grudges against him. I’m sure parts of my heart are still healing some and that is ok! But I think I’m just super focused on my kids and soaking up every minute I can with them. Lili leaving has reminded me just how fast time goes and I don’t want to waste these precious years. I’m also really loving this new journey God has me on. Just me and Him right now. Building businesses, digging into His word, doing things I’ve never done before out of walking by faith. It’s actually really exciting and fulfilling. For the first time in my life I feel as though I’m trusting him completely blindly and not caring! It feels so…freeing! And He is so faithful!

I am also going through some things that I’m not quite ready to share openly about yet. I’ve opened up to a couple of guys I had spoken to at one point and they were so supportive. They have stuck around as friends. And then, a couple others quietly walked away. And then a couple I haven’t told because of my own fears of rejection. I think at this point, I just want to deal with those issues before I seriously consider a relationship, just for my own self. I’m not sure I’m fully ready to open myself up to be completely vulnerable with someone like that yet. Learning how to be loved can be just as hard as learning to love again. Sometimes the idea sounds very exciting and truly it is, but it’s also scary having to open your heart up that much and possibly be rejected or risk facing those hurts again. (And my issue; It’s nothing crazy, so don’t get all worried or thinking I have some crazy thing going on. Just something I’ve been dealing with for a long time that I’m finally actually dealing with. No crazy illness or anything.)☺️

Another thing that really turns me off to the dating world nowadays is that most people are just out there looking for a good time. I hate that this is what society has come to. What happened to chivalry? What happened to morals and standards? What happened to REAL? It seems so nonexistent today. It’s quite frustrating! If I have standards or morals I’m considered a prude. Or too religious or a ‘princess’ living in a fantasy world. That gets annoying and old dealing with that kind of thought process.

I’m not perfect by any means. I mean it’s no secret I was living a wild life at a young age. It’s no secret I’ve been married twice. I have a rap sheet with bad relationships that is miles long! I’m certainly not looking for, nor expecting, perfection in a man by any means. I fully understand everyone has a past! The same goes for me. That is who I was and not who I am anymore. But, If I’ve learned anything over the years, it was that red flags turn into big problems later on. Listen to my gut and stick to my standards. Even if everyone else thinks my standards and morals are outdated, foolish and unattainable.

Guess what… I’ve lowered my standards before, I’ve ignored my morals and red flag warnings before and every one of those has helped land me where I am today. Although I’ve learned so much and have grown so close to the Lord through them, I will not go back down that road again. So yes, I would maybe say I’m a little picky right now. Everyone I have talked to, just isn’t right. And I’m not willing to settle at this point. If people want to say things, then they can. I honestly don’t care at this point. I have every right to be picky. I certainly won’t apologize for it.

So yeah, I’m sticking with my old school standards and morals. I’m dating myself and God and my children for now. I’m learning to enjoy the quiet in the dating/relationship world until God opens that door fully.

I mean the door is already open. My heart is open to it. I’m just not eagerly searching for it. For now, I’ll enjoy the sweet flirtations and friendships, enjoy the light hearted comical conversations and keep doing what I’m doing until God brings the right man along that respects and adores my ‘ridiculous, outdated morals and standards’.

Lastly, I’ll leave you with this, friends: dating in your 30’s is something that is crazy, exciting, horrible and beautiful all wrapped up in one. I’m excited to see what God has in store for my future. For now, I think I’ll keep adding questions to my qualifiers check list and remain, 𝙄𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙥𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙡𝙮 𝙊𝙬𝙣𝙚𝙙 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙊𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙙 💁🏼‍♀️😜

📸 : 𝘑𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘢𝘯 𝘊𝘢𝘳𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳


2 thoughts on “Independently Owned & Operated 💁🏼‍♀️”

  1. This was so so good and relatable to a certain degree!! Our stories are very different but the feelings of sometimes wanting to go out or desiring companionship. I’m also absolutely loving this sweet spot of just me and my daddy God and raising teens who are heading into their older teen years soon. Thanks for being transparent and I pray that he gives you the desires of your heart and continues to bless this season.

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