Real Love.


    Like a little girl twirling in her princess dress, imagining the day she gets to marry her Prince Charming on his white horse. The hopes and dreams of a happily ever after. I too have always had this hope. Still, at 36, if you know me, you know that I am still a hopeless romantic. Always day dreaming of romantic love. Sweet gestures and flowers, whispers of love surrounding me. A notion, that someday, someone will love me as much as a prince loves his princess. 

I’ve spent most of my life chasing love. Wanting that deep connection, craving the closeness of a partner. Sure I’ve had moments in time that I’ve had that. But it always seemed to wither out. Ive struggled with rejections, abandonment, betrayal and so much hurt. I know how to be alone, quite well in fact. But there always seems to be the lingering desire to want something more. Someone that is more. 

I’ve always been seen as the girl with the pretty face, or the nice body. And let me tell you, it gets old. I’ve prayed countless times for God to give me a man that sees underneath and in spite of all the surface. A man that sees my heart. In a world full of fake, do what feels good, looks good, surface kind of love, this seems so impossible. 

These past few months of once again being single, I’m looking at love from a different angle. Perhaps one that a Christian should always look from, but sometimes we can’t always connect what the brain knows to what the heart wants. 

The closer I draw to God, the less interested in a relationship I become until it’s His will. I crave Him more. My eyes are opening more and more to His love, His closeness, His desire for me! I think over the years as I’ve faced the rejection, abandonment, and betrayal I’ve always heard His whispered words “I’m here, I don’t reject you, I won’t abandon you, I won’t hurt you.”. But in my own selfishness, it wasn’t ever enough. Jeremiah 17:9 tells us that the heart is deceitful. 


“The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?”

Jeremiah 17:9

So I’ve been shutting off the blood flow to my heart and listening to what His words tell me instead. See, when we desire something, whether it’s a relationship, friendship, whatever it is, when we desire that before God, it becomes and idol. He desires for us to love Him above all else. Because He desires us above all else. He wants our hearts as much as we want all those other things. And yet in our own selfishness we tune out the very thing that would quench that thirst. 

Now, my heart is beating a new beat. No longer dreaming of my Prince Charming on a white horse, although maybe someday it will really happen, who knows. But the more I push into the Lord, the more I want Him. Just Him. His real love. His passion, His faithfulness, His companionship, His loyalty, peace, romance, and friendship. And the more I bind my heart 

to Him, the more He becomes enough for me in every aspect. My desire grows for Him and Him alone. 

I don’t think that having a desire to want companionship or friendship is wrong, I believe God puts those desires in our hearts for a purpose. But when that desire becomes bigger than God, then we need to shut off the heart, and re shift our focus of desire. He should be the only one that sustains our every want. 

You see friends, we are already princesses loved dearly by THE King. We have the realest love there is through Him! Let Him be the only desire of your heart and watch how He satisfies it.

“I found him whom my soul loves. I held him, and would not let him go.”

Song of Solomon 3:4

Heart 📸 Credit: Fadi Xd ~ Upsplash

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